June 29, 2004

You plays the horn beep

This lot have used babelfish to translate the script from Star Wars to German, back to English, then to Italian and finally back to English again.

Contains such gems as this:

VADER: I find your lack of sturgeons of the belief.

via scribot

June 28, 2004

Go fuck yourself

Ah, I do love the Rude Pundit's style. The obvious conclusion to come to after that little outburst is that Dick Cheney must be losing it. Still, as a campaign slogan it kind of sums them up, don't you think?

June 24, 2004

High School Massacre

Footage of a gun massacre in an American high school (13.7 Mb QuickTime movie), presented here for those of you who don't use blogdex.

May be somewhat familiar to fellow fans of late 90s channel 4 sitcom Spaced ...

June 17, 2004

Freaky Iraq insect

Apparently, US soldiers found this freakish-looking giant insect in the Iraqi desert. What a nightmarish, facehugger-out-of-alien-looking thing! Spotted via Idleworm.

Cliff Pickover, the author of the page say that he believes the photo to be real. Well, maybe in the sense that it hasn't been photoshopped he could be right, but I don't think for one minute that it's a real giant insect. Insects have six legs. This thing appears to have over a dozen (it's difficult to tell from the photo, but there're definitely more than six).

Later on the page, Cliff compares the creature to a camel spider and that's when I think I figured out what I was looking at. Does it look to anyone else like one very big spider hanging off the arse of another big spider by its mandibles?

I'll still be seeing that thing in my sleep though ...

June 16, 2004

Peurile place names

We all love rude-sounding place names, don't we? Here, find out the rudest sounding places in your local area ...

June 15, 2004

We need new banknotes

I've been thinking about UK banknotes of late. Not in the "must. have. banknotes" sense as I normally do, but more from a design perspective. On the whole I think they're pretty much fine, but I just look at who's on them! Elizabeth Fry, Charles Darwin, Sir Edward Elgar and Sir John Houblon. All well and good if you want to keep harking back to the dusty old past of British achievement, but let's face it, they don't rwally reflect modern Britain in the slightest do they?

In the spirit of modernising our banknotes, I propose the following new faces for UK cash:

• £5 note
  Linda Barker, because fivers are everywhere and nobody really wants the fuckers.
• £10 note
  David Dickinson, since he's already the right colour for the tenner.
• £20 note
  Daniella Westbrook, for the obvious reasons.
• £50
  Jordan because fifties are flashy and ostentatious, and yet fucking useless for day-to-day activities

June 10, 2004

Turbo Boosht

Poor old David Hasselhof has been done for drink-driving. How's he going to go on a crusade, to champion the cause of the innocent, the helpless, the powerless in a world of criminals who operate above the law without being able to drive KITT? Oh, that's right, KITT drove itself.

Hey, that would have been an even better show: Michael Knight as a raging, 8 Ace style alcoholic riding around in a hi-tech supercar:

"Go on ya f-f-f-fuck-fuckin' BITCH! Lerrus in this T-Top, g'wan!"

Maybe the 80s TV icon should join Mr T, Hulk Hogan and He-man in the fight against George W. Bush?

June 8, 2004

God as a physics hacker

Interesting article about possible beginnings of the universe which raises the possibility that the universe could have been created in a lab and the same could be done here. Apparently any universe created within another universe would appear very tiny due to the extreme curvature of its space.

I don't have anywhere near the science to tell if this is bullshit or not but it sure piqued my interest!

404

Oh yes, ha ha, very funny ...

June 7, 2004

100 worst porn titles

I've just got back from a week in Devon where I got horribly sunburnt and smacked about by waves on a so-called surfing beach. To clebrate my return to the bosom of my beloved Huddersfield, I present this link:

http://members.shaw.ca/stayasyouare/tohwpmt.html

Enjoy!