Millions of football fans still revere Paul Gascoigne for some inspired performances in an England shirt, yet they conveniently forget that these moments of magic are greatly outnumbered by an abundance of cuntish behaviour off the pitch.

At first glance, this so called loveable buffoon appears something of a cunt lightweight , but on closer inspection his cunt crimes are many and wide-ranging. In the run-up to an important world cup qualifier in 1993, a TV crew asked Gascoigne if he has a message for the Norwegian people. Ever the sensitive diplomat, the cretinous cunt's reply was simply "fuck off."

In 1998, when England manager, Glenn Hoddle, told a clearly unfit Gascoigne that he was being omitted from the world cup squad, the geordie cunt reacted by trashing Hoddle's office and storming out in one of football's most famous hissy fits. Beating up his wife Sheryl in a drunken rage was undoubtedly his most disgraceful transgression, but this booze-addled cunt was also party to a truly repugnant cunt triumvirate as the paparazzi greedily lapped up his public drinking sessions with media megalomaniac, Chris Evans, and his washed up lackey, Danny Baker. And let's not forget Fog On The Tyne...

Keywords:

daft / dentist's chair / tubby / novelty album / belching